I followed a trail today that was both unexpected and beautiful. It felt like I was continuing our dance with life while holding you in my heart instead of my arms.

When I think about sitting at one of our favorite restaurants on our anniversary I wonder if I can do it. I wonder if I can sit there and eat a meal while staring across at an empty chair, the chair Teresa should always be sitting in. I wonder if this would be the right thing to do. I wonder if it will be the perfect thing to do.

Since that day I’ve dreamt of you a number of times. There is always a moment in the dream where I realize that I am with you and I’m overcome with the need to hug you and tell you how much I love you; to tell you these things and hold you so tightly so that you know, so that you know I always loved you and alway will. I cry every time because part of me knows this moment is fleeting.

I like to think, though, that there is some part of me that is actually hugging some part of you, and that you hear me tell you how much I love you.